This has been on my mind lately–mostly because it has become deeply evident to me that some have forgotten how to show it to others. Here on my blog, I try to steer clear of getting-things-off-my-chest posts, and I rarely share my feelings on ‘issues’. However, something happened this week that got me thinking about this again, because it characterizes what I have been seeing amongst people over the past few years. People are polarized in a way that is as old as time, but the blatant disrespect that I’ve witnessed more recently is new to me. It’s not that I have never seen anyone argue, but it seems that people are much more touchy and offendable these days, and willing to bare their teeth over small disagreements like I’ve never seen before. Perhaps it is my age, or that I wasn’t paying attention when I was younger, but I have seen more often lately that this polarization halts any kind of learning from one another, or bending in our thinking at all. People seem profoundly easy to offend these days when they are simply disagreed with to the point that it’s frustrating and disheartening to watch, and worse when we are on the receiving end of it.
Perhaps this is the reason why I long so deeply for the quiet, simple life, where bunnies nuzzle my hands lovingly, looking for a nose scritch; and chickens follow me around, clucking contentedly, happy just to be scratching around in whatever part of the yard I happen to be working. It’s an easy life–despite the work–because in simply keeping our heads down and accomplishing our daily tasks, there isn’t much room for disrespect or argument. It’s just straightforward work, and of course, fellowship with the creatures that we care for who do not care what political party we belong to, whether or not we like the president, belong to the NRA, or eat organic. It’s a life of harmony…harmony with God’s creation…with the earth and how it sustains us…and, for me, harmony with God. This simple kind of life is a reprieve from the rat race, the jockeying for position, and the pride that causes others to feel and express that they are somehow better, smarter, more knowledgeable than the next guy, who is also made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27).
Maybe it’s naive to think that this could be any different than it is, but I tend to want to believe the best about others as much as possible. As I’ve settled into this position, I’ve done so after years of learning that all people, no matter who they are, have a story; and as I’ve been given the opportunity to hear some of them (and perhaps learn why they think the way they do), I don’t always come to agreement with them, the choices they are making, the lifestyle they might be living, etc., but I do hopefully come to a firmer understanding of who they are, and as a fellow human being, come to a less polar viewpoint. One thing I know for sure is that each and every one of us needs compassion and love, and for the Christian, our perfect model (Jesus) displayed the kind of compassion and love that we all need. That’s what I want to share with others, and I want to be able to do it despite any differences there are between us.
I got to thinking about what respect means to me, and thought I would share it here, not that I think any of you really need to hear it. It’s more for me so I can get my thoughts out on ‘paper’. This list is by no means exhaustive, nor is it a directive that I’m putting forth, but rather a list of thoughts that might help to provoke in me good will toward others. Maybe they will help you too. Who knows? Perhaps if we keep them in mind, we just might win some respect back, earn the opportunity to appeal to another’s heart on important matters, or, for the Christian, even win them to Christ.
Respect
- it means that I treat others kindly, even when they do not believe what I believe
- it means that I treat those who are like me, and those who aren’t, equally (James 2)
- it means that I do not wish those who have differing opinions than I do any ill will at all, but rather, the same good will that God wishes for them
- it means that I understand that I may offend others, but I try my best not to while still walking in accordance with my faith
- it means that I sometimes walk away from a conversation when it is becoming anti-productive to us both
- it does not mean that I ‘run over’ people in conversation if they do not agree with me (this one can be difficult for me, but I’m working on it)
- it does not mean that I ridicule others if they have a different opinion
- it does mean that I share Christ when others are open, but if they are not, I do not ‘cast my pearls’ so to speak (NOT that I’m calling anyone swine, mind you, it’s just a figure of speech)
Good morning-so glad to have found your blog.
I think you are right. And I think one of the hardest things is letting negative people go.
It takes a lot of courage to create your own, happy world.
Have a wonderful, peaceful day!
*hugs*
Mimi
The Goat Borrower
(from Sisterhood of the Goat)
Hi Mimi! Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comment. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday, Goat Sister!
A very thoughtful and well said post! It is so needed at this time. And the ending was just perfect,it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this,it came across exactly as you meant! Darlene
Aw, Darla Mae, thank you for dropping by and for your comment. I’m so glad you were able to see my heart through this post.
Kristi,
One of the things I love about having a blog is being able to put down on paper (yes, I tend to write it out on a pad of paper, old school, first before typing it in) my thoughts. I was never a diarist, and I never expected to enjoy the writing aspect of this food blogging thing, but I do.
I enjoyed reading your post today and I’m glad you posted it.
If you’d like a new ear worm, check out a Canadian a capella group we heard about on NPR the other week–Choir!Choir!Choir! Their cover of Erasure’s A Little Respect is my current ear worm and what I heard in my head as I started to read your post.
Thanks!
Hi Kirsten! I know what you mean—I never really enjoyed writing as a kid or young adult, but somehow blogging opens ‘putting pen to paper’ up in a new way.
I’ll take a look around for the song–thanks for the suggestion! Happy Sunday!
Thanks for joining Let’s Get Social Sunday:) I double checked your links and they are there now:) Let me know if you have any problems:)
Have an great weekend and Happy Hopping!
Thanks for hosting, Evelyn, and thank you for checking my links and letting me know. You’re a dear!
Very thoughtful post Kristi! I loved to write as a kid and I still do. I’d rather write a letter thsn an email. Either way, thanks for your insightful post!
Thanks very much for stopping by and leaving your kind comment, Mary! It’s good to ‘see’ you again!
A very thought provoking post. I pray that God will work in the hearts of my kids and this current generation {and all people for that matter :0)} and give them an open heart to the way they treat people. I have seen rude, thoughtless behavior on so many levels in my life and it breaks my heart to see it. not just for those on the receiving end, but how miserable must a person be if they treat others with such disrespect?
“Let us love one another…” in word AND deed :0).
Donna, it breaks my heart too, because none of us is beyond reproach. I do understand what you are saying about kids. As the leader of a home school group for 5 years, and having been in this type of leadership for 12, I have seen what you are talking about, even in my own kids. Respect for others (even those we don’t care for) is often discussed, because it’s so hard to live by–even for me.
Thanks for your comments, Donna.
Dear Kristi,
My factory closes for the annual summer holiday (we’re in South Africa so it’s summer now) from mid-December to mid-January so we’re back at work from last week. I’ve had an epiphany during my holiday: I am going to print love letters to my staff on the blank backs of their pay slips every week. My business partner and I have a very loving and caring relationship with our staff and I am going to use the love letters to educate them some more about personal finance, debt management, factory matters etc. One of the topics I plan to spend quite a few weeks on is respect for self and others and also expecting respect from others as this is a human condition that is sadly very lacking in South African culture these days. With your permission I would like to print this post of yours as a love letter to my staff (with minor edits to allow for cultural and space paramaters). Thank you very much for this, it’s beautiful. xx
Reinette, thank you so much for your kind words, and for your respect in asking to use my post–I honestly wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t, so I appreciate that very much.
You are more than welcome to use this post if it will help you, Reinette. I do hope that it will help to encourage your staff.
~Kristi
It is beautiful, the post that is. As for the lack of respect I see it on so many levels. Teaching Sunday school for five years olds. The way some of those kids talk to me is incredible. My mom would have slapped me upside the head for talking like that to an adult. I would never and I hope my kids would never be so disrespectful. It is a sea change sadly. I agree, the more time at home away from the world, that happier I am.
Thank you, Elaine, I do know what you mean. I have my suspicions as to why this is happening, but it is the world we live in and we must learn to do what is right despite what’s happening around us.
Thanks for your comment! It’s nice to hear your thoughts!
Very well written post. I think you are very right in that people don’t seem to know how to treat one another with respect these days.
I pray more people will stop and think before they speak (or type).
Me too, Jamie. It seems that we could definitely use a bit more of that.
Thanks for stopping by!
This is so true: “…in simply keeping our heads down and accomplishing our daily tasks, there isn’t much room for disrespect or argument.” I have always noticed that even when an argument is brewing or has already erupted amongst me and my spouse or my kids, it is calmed by some simple barn chores or work in the garden. As if the need to work together and get things done just washes away all the negativity and restores the balance. A very thoughtful post, enjoyed it! Stevie@ruffledfeathersandspilledmilk.com
oh yes! i hear you…I think about how it seems a whole generation has lost self respect! we have become embedded in a culture that does not value life..and yet I know we can still value and respect life in our hearts…and change the world for the better one small step and act of kindness at a time….
I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
happy weekend!
I would be happy to follow back!
I think you are right—we have lost so much with this generation, even Christian families are wondering what happened? The tide of the world is so strong, and it’s hard to keep a hold of their hearts. Thankfully God gives us the strength to keep holding on!
I agree—small acts of kindness speak volumes!
Thanks for your thoughtful and kind comment!